This is a series of fictional wikiHow articles I made up after reading through some real ones one evening. How to determine if there are females in a house in Paris; Expert Review By Cole, 15, Student: 1. Get equipment 2. Study stereotypical female shape 3. Find good hiding place. 4. Figure out if its day or night 5. Observe and/or take pictures. How to perform open heart surgery on a Subway; Expert Review By Micheal, 56, Janitor at University: 1. Prepare yourself mentally 2. Gather Surgical-Instruments from other Passengers 3. Knock Patient out with Blunt Object 4. Look for a Clean Spot 5. Perform Surgery.